Oh holy quiet....

It has been so ling since I have lived alone. Once the girls are in bed I don't know what to do with myself. I have even run out of things to clean and unpack. Here's to hoping I can become immune to the silence.

Dating still feels like it would be a wasted effort. I don't currently have the focus or energy to put into maintaining a man. I hate to admit it but there are things I miss from being attached. Aside from the insane fighting and creepy all controlling aspect that accompanies relationships. I miss kissing, the passion and feeling butterflies in my stomach. I have met someone who seems to be an unconventional solution to that problem. Although the solution is also very unsuitable and probably not a great choice. Given the scope of relationships I have been in over the last six years I know I am in no place to begin something real, but being an adult now would it be completely wrong to just have a friend to play with? Or should I wait to see if I find someone more suitable than the option I see currently? I suppose it never hurt anyone to explore options, lets call it option R...only time will tell.

starting anew

Finally I have come to the point in life where it is time to move on and say goodby to who I once was. The new goal is to be content. Happiness will come eventually but being content is going to be an uphill climb, one mountain at a time. After a long twenty months of living with my praents following my divorce its timem to awaken from the coccoon of myself and reexperience life.

This is my first night in my new place, an average two bedroom townhouse that will let me have some measure of freedom and normalcy.