So every year since I got married back in 2007 I have went out to dinner all by myself. My ex was never interested in spending time with me so I take myself on a date. This year I reminded myself that I am a cheap date. Probably should not have driven home. It is empowering to sit at a table at a restaurant all alone and not have it be awkward. At this time in my life I feel good about bringing a book and hanging out alone. I did try to call my kids again and what do you know no answer, I really hope they are okay up there. Unfortunately there is no way to tell because stupid is such a dick.
R came over tonight also, think that has been basically every night this week. Kinda nice to not have to sleep alone since I am all alone here. We ended up watching a movie and just going to bed. It is actually kinda nice to just cuddle up and hang out like regular people. I really hope R doesn't start to get attached though, I don't think he would deal with that well and it would make things awkward for everyone. I know I can keep my feeling for him in check and keep it all separate but I am not sure how long this can go on before someone breaks.
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