They are gone.

The first weekend with no kids in the new house. I don't know what to do at all. I am filled with an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I miss them so much and I cannot even speak with them when they are with S. Two more days till everything is back to normal. Here's to hoping evertyhing goes more smoothly at the pick up Sunday. I hate that he is so unpredictable and hostile. Honestly it may be best to have someone come with me everytime just to chaperone our exchanges. I hate feeling like I need protection from him still, shouldn't I be free of all this already? Wasn't that the point of the divorce?